I’m an Audrey Hepburn fan. I love her movies, her style, her grace. My favorite movie of hers isn’t Charade, or Breakfast at Tiffany’s but rather Love in the Afternoon. It’s a film about a young girl that falls for the same cad that her private eye father is sent to keep tabs on. Any time the movie is on television, I watch it. There is something perfect about cinematography, the humor, the dialogue that always keeps me focused.
Most times, it plays on a channel that is targeted towards 55+ and they literally have commercials that say these are movies for 55+, which then makes me questions what I am doing with myself. And I begin to wonder what 28 year old normal girls watch.
With some time off from work (I have an actual vacation for once!), I tuned into the particular channel. I figured I’d finish reading my Irene Adler mystery and catch an old movie. I was met with my newest obsession: Ann Margret.
I was watching Made in Paris and honestly, I wasn’t really paying much attention, but then she began to sing and then she danced. And though the ending was cheesy and predictable, Ann Margret was not. She was sexy yet not trashy. Provocative but not stupid. She was strong and sassy while also being sweet, ladylike…she was lovely. Lana del Rey as a similar physical look and I could imagine her singing Ann Margret’s songs, but Lana seems sad even when she smiles. Ann Margret exudes the silver lining even when she’s in tears.
I ended up watching Pleasure Seekers and, again, while it wasn’t the best movie, she caught my attention as struggling singer in Spain (say that 5 times fast). I was discussing this with a friend and she was like of course I know Ann-Margret. She’s super popular and cool. And she has an affair with Elvis. I don’t really care much for the Elvis trivia, but I am curious as to why she happened to fall into my line of vision all of sudden.
From my stories and the things I love to read, I have found that the universe is always keeping it’s eye out on you. They throw things at you that you might need at the moment. For example, you have a bad break up and all of a sudden you happen to fall into an anime that helps you with the grieving process. The anime itself is goofy and has nothing to do with your actual life, but it allows you to escape.
Or you pick up a book, but you aren’t into it. But then months later, you rediscover it and you are ready for it. I believe the universe has a hand at that. It goes this person needs this right now.
So Ann Margret has appeared and it’s funny because she makes being beautiful–really beautiful, like radiating from the soul loveliness–easy and simple. Her characters just act like themselves. They are comfortable in their own skin and in their own desires. They root for themselves.
I think I have to be prouder of myself. Especially when it comes to Yans. I shouldn’t be the woman he wants, but be the woman I am and the woman I want to be…and I should be confident that the woman I truly am is good enough for the universe. I have always patted myself on the back for being a hard worker or honest, but I am also interesting and I can be flirty in my own way. I guess what I am saying is that we are allowed to call ourselves cool. We should feel as confident as Demi Lovato’s Cool for the Summer song feels.
I think Yans is struggling to be a good man, to be a man he is proud of. It isn’t enough that I’m proud of him. Every person wants to make themselves proud. I think that is an okay endeavor. But if you are faltering at being proud of yourself, you also have to fall back on the people that love you. They will make a list of the awesomeness that you bring forth. I was re-watching Pleasure Seekers with Kimchi and she was like your body type isn’t too far off of Ann Margret’s. And I was like pfft. But it made me feel like wow, the people I think are awesome, think I’m awesome too. I’m allowed to be proud of my awesome.
Like Rupaul says: how the hell you going to love anyone if you can’t love yourself.
Cue dance music, drag queens dance and lip sync, Rupaul breaks into a laughter that can only be described as diamonds falling to the earth like rain.
jaedawson 